Hi everyone and welcome to our Anti-bullying page.
At Brook Field we are committed to maintaining a safe and happy environment that offers support to everyone and encourages a bullying free place where we can all feel safe and learn happily. Sometimes as a parent it is hard to know what to do for the best but there is advice for your child that can be helpful and unhelpful.
- 'Describe behaviour that is unhelpful.' We feel the child is stuck in a negative cycle of behaviour, and requires support to change their behaviour patterns over a period of time.
We use the term 'victim,' to describe:
- 'Those who find themselves stuck on the receiving end of some inappropriate behaviour.' These children require immediate support and are provided with everything that is deemed necessary for the individual.
Breaking the cycle is easy if caught early enough and it can be difficult to know what to do for the best, It can also mean having to take an honest look at ourselves and recognise how we all behave when we feel 'defended' or things seem 'out of our control'. Self-awareness is the key to bringing down destructive defences and developing more mature and constructive behaviours. It is not easy to take a look at ourselves and be really honest with how it may feel to be on the receiving end of our own behaviour; but if we are to be successful in tackling bullying then that is how we go about breaking this cycle which otherwise gets very complex when too many people or 'rescuers' get involved.
United we stand – Divided we fall! We all want the very best for our children and so we need to be united in our approach to working together. Children can be abusive towards other children and it is everyone's responsibility not to turn a blind eye, but to safeguard all children. Bullies need as much emotional support as victims because their feelings need to be validated, they need to be heard and not judged for the pattern of behaviour to be able to change.
Mediation; Leave your Judgment at the door
• Mediation is about two people (or two small groups) involved in conflict. We believe that by providing a safe and comfortable place to listen to each other's side of the story; developing connections to how each other feels when faced with conflict and recognising that emotions are ours to own, and not to displace on to another person.
• Mediation gives each person a chance to talk and to be heard without judgment, therefore developing empathy and constructive defence mechanisms such as assertiveness.
• Mediation also allows an opportunity for the two people involved to feel empowered to make personal choices on how to move forward with a mutual solution and to learn from the problem.
No need to spread gossip or rumours sort out your issues through talking one to one
Empathy is not something that children are able to fully grasp at first; it grows over time but only if nurtured. Having realistic expectations of how much children can help themselves in a bullying situation is important because, otherwise, we may dismiss their needs. Not tackling bullying behaviour is to deny children a fundamental aspect of emotional growth! It can be very difficult to be confronted with our own bad points, but if handled carefully and the environment is safe and not too serious, it is possible to grow constructively from such behaviour. However, if negative traits remain unchallenged they could become an unhelpful pattern of reactions for bullies who will continue to grow in a negative frame of mind, with the potential to become bigger bullies and block their own future opportunities; (not to mention the emotional damage that this can do to those who find themselves on the receiving end!) This too can bring lifelong emotional implications and ill health. When faced with trauma or (overwhelm) what the mind blanks out; the body remembers.